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In her study of more than 100 couples around the globe, the author found that dual-career couples tend lớn go through three transitions when they are particularly vulnerable: when they first learn lớn work together as a couple; when they go through a midcareer or a midlife reinvention; and as they reach the final stages of their careers. Those who communicate at each transition about deeper work và personal issues such as values, boundaries, & fears have a better chance of emerging stronger from each one, fulfilled both in their relationships và in their careers.
One Couple’s PerspectiveTamar Dane Dor-Ner, a managing partner at Bain, and her husband, Dan Krockmalnic, general counsel for the Boston Globe, talk in a Q&A with HBR editors about how they tư vấn each other, how they divide child care & other domestic responsibilities, the benefits each realizes from the other’s job, & what challenges the future might hold.
The Spouse FactorWhen the author, a professional recruiter with Korn Ferry, speaks with candidates about potential job opportunities, one of the first questions she asks is whether there’s anything in their family situation that she should know about—meaning, Will the family make a candidate reluctant lớn relocate for a new job? Here she describes how candidates’ spouses who have their own demanding careers can be a factor in job searches, how she approaches this challenge, and how she has managed the trade-offs in her own dual-career marriage.
Living Apart for WorkIn an interview with HBR executive editor Ania Wieckowski, Lindemann, a sociologist at Lehigh University và the tác giả of Commuter Spouses, describes the lifestyles of “commuter couples” who choose to lớn live apart to lớn further their careers. She highlights the factors that go into making that choice and some ways that couples giảm giá with their separation: how they stay in touch, manage conflict, & reunite after time apart. She also discusses the personal as well as professional benefits of their living situation.
The complete Spotlight package is available in a single reprint.
The Problem
When both members of a couple have demanding careers, their work & personal lives are deeply intertwined—and often at odds.
The TransitionsDual-career couples tend to go through three phases of being particularly vulnerable: when they first learn to lớn work together as a couple; when they experience a midlife reinvention; and in the final stages of their working lives.
The SolutionCouples who communicate at each transition about values, boundaries, and fears have a good chance of being fulfilled both in their relationships & in their careers.
Camille & Pierre met in their early forties after each one’s marriage had ended. Both were deeply committed khổng lồ their careers and to their new relationship. Camille, an accountant, had felt pressured by her ex-husband to lớn slow her progress toward partnership at her firm. Pierre, a production manager at an automotive company, was embroiled in a bitter divorce from his wife, who had given up her career khổng lồ accommodate the geographic moves that his required. (As with the other couples I’ve profiled in this article, these aren’t their real names.) Bruised by their past experiences, they agreed khổng lồ place their careers on an equal footing. Initially things went smoothly, but two years in, Camille began khổng lồ feel trapped on a professional path that she realized she had chosen because “that was what the smart kids did.”
Mindful of their pact, Pierre calmly listened to lớn her doubts & encouraged her to explore alternatives. But as the months wore on, he began to lớn feel weighed down as he juggled providing emotional support to Camille, navigating their complex family logistics (both had children from their former marriages), và succeeding in his demanding job. When he began lớn question his own career direction, he wondered how the two of them could manage to change course. They couldn’t afford to take time out from work, nor could they take much time to lớn reflect và keep their family và relationship afloat. Frustrated và exhausted, both wondered how they could continue lớn find meaning and fulfillment in their lives.
nguồn Couples: Series reprintDual-earner couples are on the rise. According to Pew Research, in 63% of couples with children in the United States, for example, both partners work (this figure is slightly higher in the EU). Many of these are dual-career couples: Both partners are highly educated, work full-time in demanding professional or managerial jobs, và see themselves on an upward path in their roles. For these couples, as for Pierre & Camille, work is a primary source of identity và a primary channel for ambition. Evidence is mounting from sociological research that when both partners dedicate themselves to lớn work & to home life, they reap benefits such as increased economic freedom, a more satisfying relationship, and a lower-than-average chance of divorce.
Because their working lives và personal lives are deeply intertwined, however, dual-career couples face quality challenges. How bởi vì they decide whose job to relocate for, when it’s OK for one partner khổng lồ make a risky career change, or who will leave work early to pick up a sick child from school? How can they give family commitments—and each other—their full attention while both of them are working in demanding roles? và when one of them wants khổng lồ undertake a professional reinvention, what does that mean for the other? They must work out these questions together, in a way that lets both thrive in love and work. If they don’t, regrets và imbalances quickly build up, threatening to lớn hinder their careers, dissolve their relationship, or both.
Many of these challenges are well recognized, và I’ve previously written in HBR about how companies can adapt their talent strategies to trương mục for some of them (“Talent Management and the Dual-Career Couple”). But for the couples themselves, little guidance is available. Most advice treats major career decisions as if one is flying solo, without a partner, children, or aging parents lớn consider. When it’s for couples, it focuses on their relationship, not how that intersects with their professional dreams, or it addresses how to balance particular trade-offs, such as careers versus family, or how to lớn prioritize partners’ work travel. What couples need is a more comprehensive approach for managing the moments when commitments and aspirations clash.
My personal experience in a dual-career couple, và my realization that little systematic academic research had been done in this area, prompted a six-year investigation into the lives of more than 100 dual-career couples, resulting in my forthcoming book, Couples That Work. The people I studied come from around the world, range in age from mid-twenties to mid-sixties, and represent a range of professions, from corporate executive to lớn entrepreneur lớn worker in the nonprofit sector. (See the sidebar “About the Research.”) My research revealed that dual-career couples overcome their challenges by directly addressing deeper psychological & social forces—such as struggles for power và control; personal hopes, fears, và losses; and assumptions và cultural expectations about the roles partners should play in each other’s lives and what it means to have a good relationship or career.
I also discovered that three transition points typically occur during dual-career couples’ working & love lives, when those forces are particularly strong. It is during these transitions, I found, that some couples craft a way khổng lồ thrive in love and work, while others are plagued by conflict và regret. By understanding each transition and knowing what questions to ask each other and what traps lớn avoid, dual-career couples can emerge stronger, fulfilled in their relationships và in their careers.
Transition 1: Working as a Couple
When Jamal và Emily met, in their late twenties, trade-offs were the last thing on their minds. They were full of energy, optimistic, and determined to live life to lớn the fullest. Jamal, a project manager in a civil engineering firm, traveled extensively for work & was given increasingly complex projects to lead, while Emily, who worked at a clothing company, had just been promoted lớn her first management role. They saw each other mostly on weekends, which they often spent on wilderness hiking adventures. They married 18 months after their first date.
Then, in the space of three months, their world changed dramatically. While Emily was pregnant with their first child, Jamal’s quái vật asked him to run a critical infrastructure project in Mexico. Jamal agreed khổng lồ spend three weeks out of every month in Mexico City; designating some of his pay raise to extra child care would allow Emily to keep working in Houston, where they lived. But when their daughter, Aisha, was born two weeks early, Jamal was stuck in the Mexico thành phố airport waiting for a flight home. Soon Emily, who was single-handedly managing Aisha, her job, và their home, discovered that the additional child care wasn’t enough; she felt overburdened & unappreciated. Jamal was exhausted by the relentless travel và the stress of the giant new project; he felt isolated, incompetent, và guilty.
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Mỹ thuật
1. These days, in India, there are ___ married couples who live on their own than before.
a. More
b.many
c.less
d.little
2. In some countries in the Middle East, people stand ___ khổng lồ each other than those in North America in a conversation.
a.most closely
b. More closely
c. Closer
d. Closest
3. Wedding ceremonies are ___ now than they used to be in the past.
a. Less complicated
b. The most complicated
c. As complicated
d. The least complicated
4. It's much ___ lớn celebrate a small & cozy wedding to lớn save money.
a.best
b.better
c. The best
d.the better
5. In some Asian families, parents tend khổng lồ have far ___ control over their children than those in some American families.
a. The most
b. The more
c. More
d. Most
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1. These days, in India, there are ___ married couples who live on their own than before.
a. More
b.many
c.less
d.little
2. In some countries in the Middle East, people stand ___ lớn each other than those in North America in a conversation.
a.most closely
b. More closely
c. Closer
d. Closest
3. Wedding ceremonies are ___ now than they used khổng lồ be in the past.
a. Less complicated
b. The most complicated
c. As complicated
d. The least complicated
4. It"s much ___ to lớn celebrate a small và cozy wedding to lớn save money.
a.best
b.better
c. The best
d.the better
5. In some Asian families, parents tend to have far ___ control over their children than those in some American families.
a. The most
b. The more
c. More
d. Most
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The family in Britain is changing. The once typical British family headed by two parents has undergone substantial changes during the twentieth century. In particular there has been a rise in the number of single-person households, which increased from 18 to lớn 29 per cent of all households between 1971 and 2002. By the year 2020, it is estimated that there will be more single people than married people. Fifty years ago this would have been socially unacceptable in Britain.In the past, people got...
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The family in Britain is changing. The once typical British family headed by two parents has undergone substantial changes during the twentieth century. In particular there has been a rise in the number of single-person households, which increased from 18 to 29 per cent of all households between 1971 & 2002. By the year 2020, it is estimated that there will be more single people than married people. Fifty years ago this would have been socially unacceptable in Britain.
In the past, people got married & stayed married. Divorce was very difficult, expensive và took a long time. Today, people's views on marriage are changing. Many couples, mostly in their twenties or thirties, live together (cohabit) without getting married. Only about 60% of these couples will eventually get married.
In the past, people married before they had children, but now about 40% of children in Britain are born to lớn unmarried (cohabiting) parents. In 2000, around a quarter of unmarried people between the ages of 16 và 59 were cohabiting in Great Britain. Cohabiting couples are also starting families without first being married. Before 1960 this was very unusual, but in 2001 around 23 per cent of births in the UK were lớn cohabiting couples.
People are generally getting married at a later age now & many women vì chưng not want khổng lồ have children immediately. They prefer lớn concentrate on their jobs và put off having a baby until late thirties.
The number of single-parent families is increasing. This is mainly due to more marriages ending in divorce, but some women are also choosing lớn have children as lone parents without being married.
